Animá Lifeways & Herbal School

The following is the some of the new text for the Supporter page of the Animá website, describing the new forms for contributing financially to this place, practice and purpose.  We eliminated the Memberships, as that made it sound like this was an organization rather than a school and sanctuary, and lowered the minimum Supporter contribution so that nearly everyone can afford to participate who really wants to.  There are now 4 clear levels of Support for you to choose from, according to the degree of involvement and gratitude, and your ability to help.  Due to the difficult economic times we have lost the aid of several Supporters, so we have to thank you in advance for even considering becoming a Supporter yourself… any time, at any level.

Become an Animá Supporter

Supporters are the most crucial allies Animá could have, enabling everything that this project does, creates, and ultimately engenders and inspires in others… with vital monthly, annual or even occasional donations.

For a monthly pledge of only $25 or more you can become part of a small purposeful family, counted on and depended upon for consistent support.  And with your permission, you’ll be honored with a photo, brief bio and your URL if you like, acknowledging your important involvement in the Supporter Profiles section of the Animá website Support page.

Support Levels
There are 4 Levels of Support, depending on your ability to contribute, and how strongly you feel drawn to do so:

Leaves
…aiding the spread of lessons and tools, hopes and dreams, like the spreading of new foliage
$25 or more per month, or $300 or more annually

Branches
…the strength to bear the glad load, while reaching out ever further
$50 or more per month, or $600 or more annually

Trunk
…the firm stalk from which all branches out
$100 or more per month, or $1200 or more annually

Roots: Core Supporters
…the most committed level – earth-hugging roots that can be depended upon to keep everything from falling down even through the heaviest storms
$200 or more per month, $2400 or more annually

Plus, for anyone unable to commit to consistent donations, you can consider becoming an
Occasional Supporter
…contributing what you can when you are most able, or else when Animá has a particular or particularly urgent need

To read more about the school and sanctuary, our donation policy and what your donations provide, please go to the:
Support Page

To donate through PayPal, please click on:
Donate Now

Gratitude from us, and from all those we are able to help thanks to you!

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I’ve often considered the ways in which the contents and methods of our teaching differ from most others, especially on the occasion of losing even one of our dozens of Animá course students.  At such moments I am painfully aware that I likely had seen it all coming and could have salvaged the relationship, ensured their continuing donations and lasting admiration by simply allowing them to subscribe to an appeasing untruth uncountered and unchecked, stepping back quietly as someone indulges in poetic rationalization or clothes self-compromise in spiritually toned self denial, or acts as if transcendence and self denigration were honorable mechanisms and goals, or seems to apply only to others an insight meant also for them and us all.  With only a degree of withholding and some comforting words, I might never had the few drop out, or leave a counsel session nonplussed.

It is difficult at the onset, to promote a practice that is based on response-ability, that leaves no one off the hook, hears no excuses, expects us to be true to our natures, honor ourselves and further our purpose without fudging, evading or excusing, a way in which we cannot define ourselves as victims no matter what hardships are set upon us because we are conscious decision makers and co-creators of our world and reality.  We leave it to religions to afford the security of being saved, for our time here requires our own solutions, and life on earth is a call to be and do.  We cannot afford students the certainty of dogma and solution, only the tools to navigate moment by moment through the ever shifting universe.  Unlike vested authorities or gurus, we will not take control of another person’s choices no matter how much they might sometimes prefer that, as we are here to empower, and they learn best from their mistakes and gain power from their accomplishments when we leave everyone plenty of room to make an unhealthy decision or do something counterproductive.  And because one’s choices depend on what we are aware of, we will not do anyone the disservice of holding back a painful insight, disruptive clarity or inconvenient perspective… even if it could result in someone responding that they have “grown past needing a teacher.”

I cannot bear to silently witness a man go through a separation claiming no attachment, and then dedicate to her a two year period of  self denial and celibacy while she explores her sexuality, desperately waiting for her to return and see him as a new man… while calling it “surrender” to the will of deities or vagaries of fate, cosmically discounting his deep personal anguish with statements like “pain and joy are the same.”  I cannot hear without comment, a woman telling herself that the husband she has love but insufficient passion for could become everything she needs if he would just go to counseling.  And our love for another student will not let us accept her attachment to depression and powerlessness, valuing herself largely to the degree that a lover or lovers desire her, wishing she could hang on to the one that she is breaking up with even as she reaches out to another.

The same is true when we are dealing with someone’s quandary over where they belong, who they are, or what they are to be doing.  Yet all of the anonymous examples above involve relationships or marriages that are  over or still in question, one of the hardest topics for anyone to accept advice regarding.  It is so personal, so tied into our identities and sense of worth, that it is understandably something we might rather would sort itself out in storms of private tears or years of slow erosion, rather than the abrupt and perceivably brutal light of day.  Whether we ultimately seem to be supporting an honest reappraisal or separation, or a healing and strengthening of existing bonds, we seek not a certain result but the student’s honest realization, deep no b.s. consideration, and then responsibly living with their choices.

Of the people cited above, one is bravely sleeping by herself as she reappraises her needs and relationship, doing the hard work and hearing hard advice.  Through this process she is risking losing her family, income, and the emotional support of a good and gentle man.  Whether she remains with him or not, she intends to never again fool herself about her situation and desires, and we are very proud of her.  The other woman actually distanced herself from us and these teachings after an earlier bout of advice about not honoring herself, something we could not blame her for finding difficult to swallow.  That we are able to advise her again, testifies to the fact that she came back and even enrolled in a Path of Heart course… prepared – like our other impressively committed students – to face and then utilize to the best of her ability even the hardest to hear insights and most difficult to implement counsel or realization.  We can give them all tons of credit for such effort, and precisely because they are so often given potential reasons – and reminded of their option – to balk, deny, pretend, dilute, diverge or turn away.   And along with the opportunity to face, engage, stretch, grow, commit, resolve and stay.  Together we take the mortar and pestle to make our medicines, reach out from a most real and uncompromised place to hold, and to remake, our deeply feeling world.

-In love and Service, Jesse Wolf Hardin

(photo of mortar and Marble Man globe (c) 2009 by Jesse Wolf Hardin)

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Over the many years we have taught Animá practice, we’ve come to recognize some repeat patterns.  First would be the percentage that will drop out of their course, some because they find they can’t bear honest self exploration and appraisal, most because they find they’re unable to give the work the time and focus it requires, and a few others who have trouble with the Assignments – in which they are expected to act on every new insight and put their developing skills to use in their daily lives.  Of these, we have found that most will decide to quit during the Principals & Pitfalls lesson, where the course intention and work becomes clearer, comforting beliefs and illusions are challenged, and the student is asked to create a code of honor and set of commitments to themselves to begin living their world in radically different and empowered ways.  Of the majority who remain enrolled, a percentage answer the lesson questions simply and briefly, while a smaller number deeply consider and then describe their selves, processes, challenges, dilemmas, vision and hopes in great detail.  Not everyone who answers thoroughly is fully growing of course, as it’s possible to be obsessed with ourselves and our troubles without moving through things or applying what we learn.  And there a those who write little, but put all they get to wonderful use.

While we care about every student in a very real way, and give everyone all the help we can, the greatest gratification for us comes whenever someone we work with begins to not only understand their selves better, but also excitedly reports on a major shift in their life and boost in their effectiveness and happiness because of it.

It was huge, to hear about one loved student and ally leaving a codependent relationship that didn’t serve her, without someone else ready to move in, and for the purpose of honoring herself and developing her power.  As hard as it has been for her to hear some of our counsel, she has stuck with us, and now we get goose bumps reading of  her gratitude for everything, as well as of her courageous commitment in spite of a natural desire for a supportive partner and true love.  Then there’s the woman who wrote about starting to consistently stand up for herself in a big way, quitting an unethical job even though she needed the money, and her focusing on building up an herbal based home business.   The male student from overseas, seeming to be doing everything he can to manifest what he knows and needs as quickly as he learns.   The woman who resisted no truth, set the standard for student excellence, embraced her empowerment and went on to become our first Apprentice – affecting everyone she encounters, and doing superb networking for this teaching project.   And the mother and belly dancer whose lesson work and life assignments seem too valuable not to pass on to others… by posting some of her story and lesson work below.  To all our earnest and impassioned students, thank you for what your growth and fulfillment does for us!

If you are considering an Animá Shaman Path, Medicine Woman, Path of Heart or ReWilding correspondence course, please go to the website for further details.  You can also download a Student Application here: student-application-form.doc

-JWH

(photo of Loba, Darcey Blue and Rhiannon (c) 2009 by Jesse Wolf Hardin)

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We’ve decided to occasionally post inspiring writings by our students, apprentices and allies, beginning with the following piece by Tracy Carlton.  Note that her “to do” list at the end, can also be downloaded with as a PDF in color for printing off and saving.  In Animá, we teach that we’re all lifelong students, but also that we have a responsibility to teach with every knowing and tool we’re given.  Tracy is a good example of taking care of oneself and not waiting to make real improvements in life.  And with this piece, she begins trying on the mantle of teacher as well.

Living the Dream Now

Since becoming an Animá student in May of this year, I have started taking a deeper look at each of my actions, thoughts, and motivations in life.  Everything I once valued is now up for re-examination:  Is it really me?  Does it still fit who I am now, who I have become, or who I would like to be?  Even my long-held visions and life-dreams have not been spared this process!  One of these visions has been to be part of an intentional community ~ living on shared land and co-creating a more conscious life together.  Once this was in place, I then had a long list of things I would like to add to my life within in this community: growing and harvesting food, living off the grid, building a cob oven, creating a sacred dance studio… and it went on and on!

However, one day last summer I and a dear friend/sister and fellow Animá student were having lunch together and realized that even though the vision of an intentional community still rang true for each of us, we were putting life on hold until this community was formed.  Why were we waiting for a future community to do all the things that spoke so dearly to us both?  So we decided it was time to start living our dream now!  We each wrote up our vision of what we wanted from life, and then made a list of actions we could take to make this vision come true ~ and come true in the here and now, not put on hold for someday.

My vision statement described everything from the kind of home I would have and the food I would eat, to how I would dress and how I could serve others.  My list included growing herbs, sewing my own clothes, walking the Shamanic Path, and even getting a new tattoo.  It held for me all the dreams and desires of a fulfilled, nurturing, engaged life.

We decided that each week we would choose one or two things from our list, and actively incorporate them into our lives.  We also agreed to check in with each other to see how we were doing on this quest ~ were there unexpected hurdles? Was there fear to overcome? How did it feel to have accomplished something from our list?

It was easy at first, going down the list, picking the easy things first: buying local eggs ~ check!  picking wild berries ~ done!  creating rituals out of mundane ordinary tasks ~ incense lit, yep!  I noticed myself avoiding or struggling with the bigger items on my list: being a stronger and more present mother, earning a living doing something I loved; putting time aside for myself during my moon-time… but despite these challenges, I have noticed that I am filling my days, my week, each moment with all the things I love.  I no longer wait for someday to live a fulfilled life.  And surprisingly, I have also become more present in not only my actions, but also my thoughts ~ is worrying about the future on my list?  No.  Am I going to try and change something that happened 12 years ago?  No.  Instead, I reel my thoughts back to what I’m doing that moment, even if it is simply doing nothing!

It has been a gift to have someone to share this process with, but ultimately, I know it is my responsibility to make sure I’m following through on my intentions.  Some weeks I list out the same thing as the week before ~ sometimes because it turned out to be a bigger venture than I had imagined, but other times it’s because I just didn’t make it a priority and either forgot or chose to neglect it.

I am also quite aware that this list is not ever complete.  It is a living document, that must reflect who I am at each moment.  Something that seemed a priority this week may be irrelevant to who I am two months from now.  Or, conversely, something I never ever imagined myself doing today may appear on my list in the future.  This list is alive and organic and will grow and change with me, as I grow and change through all of life’s experiences.

The final piece of this adventure has been tying my list into each lesson from Animá.  During the very first lesson, in describing my fears, my struggles, my goals ~ I found I had laid out the foundation of the very list itself.  Another lesson, focusing on a Sense of Place, was where I gratefully realized that I could be doing all the things on my list right where I was.  That these very acts would lead me to the place I am supposed to be, whether here where I live now, or to some other magical, powerful spot that fits who I am, who I am becoming.

In the lesson I’ve just started, Presence & Grounding, I already feel the incredible connection between my list and the lesson ~ what better exercise than to be focused, present and aware of each and every act and thought?  I am focusing on fulfilling my life here and now, using my list as the bones of this adventure, not waiting until some obscure day in the future.  But also how beautiful that I can create this list of mine, and at the same time let it go, not rigidly adhering to it nor worrying about accomplishing each and every thing on it.   Being present means engaging in whatever I’m doing at the moment, on my list or otherwise.

So even though the dream of living in intentional community is still alive and strong and part of my vision for the future, waiting for that community to manifest before I live a fulfilled and engaged life is no longer an option.  I am actively choosing each day, each moment, to be doing something that speaks to my soul, makes me feel alive, and truly represents who I am, and all that I dream of being.  For it is the very creation of each of the acts on my list that builds and creates my life, my vision for the future right now.
—————

My “Live My Dream Now!” List

My Life Vision:
My life includes, but is by no means limited to, ENCHANTED experiences of family, friends, cats, local, organic, wild foods and meals, sewing, embroidery, drawing, painting, belly dancing classes, belly dance troupe, sacred dance, a shamanic path, living outside integrated and connected to the spirits of nature (sleeping, walking, sitting, eating, cooking, gardening, harvesting, praying, giving thanks, ceremony, ritual, being), celebrations, gatherings, ceremonies, rituals, my moontime lodge and nurturing rituals, gardening, reading, conscious choices, being ALIVE, present and engaged!

What I Have Started Integrating Into My Life So Far:
~tattoo on upper back
~create an interactive equinox altar for my birthday gathering
~create an outdoor living space on the deck (table, chairs, rug, extension cord for laptop)
~using a solar dehydrator
~support local growers
~eat less meat or at least with intention and make it local
~make seasonal jams (buy fruit at farmers market or locally, or wild craft)
~buy local eggs
~grow herbs in pots in kitchen
~connect with spirit/nature where I’m at
~dance/have classes where I’m at
~shamanic path online course
~apprenticeship with Anima
~dance troupe
~dressing a little more like a shaman
~harvest blackberries
~created decorations for belly dance tent (sewing)
~engaged with Hawk & created ritual and connection with Hawk
~drink herbal teas when I’m not well
~light incense to honor a moment or ritual or act
~make tomato paste
~at peace and am a calmer, stronger Mama
~find used/antique bread making equipment and start making bread
~using cloth bags for all shopping trips
~make/sleep with a mugwort dream pillow
~creativity:  new web site for Kundalini

My Acts of Conscious Living:
Newly Added:
~set up a compost pile/bin
~set up a clothes line
~plants along/underneath cloths line that smell divine!
~make homemade soaps, shampoos, conditioners
~make homemade cleaning products
~make more food and buy less: tortillas, butter, yogurt
~find grains and mill for flour
~indoor altars

Original List:
Me:
~buying and sewing pattern/blouse & ghawazee coat
~dress like a Shaman: no boring clothes!
~tattoo on upper left arm; and tattoo of symbol of consciousness
~sew my own clothes or buy recycled/used or homemade clothes
~have fun hair! colors or whatever that may mean
~private time for myself during moontime

How I Live:
~rain barrels on downspouts
~create gray water system and use kitchen water for this
~solar cooker
~cob oven
~collecting rainwater intensively for gardens
~full-on garden & orchard & food forest
~eat only local meat for special celebrations
~buy seasonal flowers at the farmers market and grow more here
~have free-range chickens
~natural/spiritual medicines and healings
~create outdoor labyrinth
~outdoor altars
~sleep outside
~have a home that’s “seasonally outside”
~solar panels
~mosaic stuff (solar dehydrator, my cob studio/home)
~de-clutter my home/space of stuff
~recycle, reduce, reuse
~no inputs for resources, all reuse, recycle, create from what we have where we have it (ie: compost, natural building, growing/making food/medicine/cleaning products/etc)

My Service:
~cob studio/temple for sacred dance/creative space
~shamanic services for community
~belly dance classes for women

My Community:
~sacred dance troupe with sisters
~gather my friends for spiritual celebrations
~lead spiritual ceremonies as a shaman
~keep house on market in faith!
~live on communal land in an intentional community which includes children and elders

To download this list in color PDF form: living-the-dream-now-list.pdf

To apply for an Animá Correspondence Course, download and send to the Center the following application: student-application-form.doc

(Editor Note: Tracy has a new website for her N. Calif. sacred belly dance troupe: http://www.kundalinidance.com/)

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Some of each evening’s rains drift upwards with the kiss of dawn, like a waking lover’s head lifting from a pillow to meet their mate’s lips. It begins by covering the canyon with a veil of dense fog and then tightening into bands, craning skywards to slowly reveal the bright green foliage and reddish gold rocks below. Rays of sun pour unevenly through the dips and gorges of mountain-shaped clouds, drawing the eye to first one carefully spotlit scene to the next. If there is a more spirit soothing, soul lifting vista anywhere, I have not yet drank from it with these canyon sated eyes.

The enchanting transitions of this morning will attend and sweeten all my day, enlightening and enticing. I feel soothed, as a Japanese garden or the sound of a running brook soothes, finding contentment in the arms of place the way a child finds refuge and seeks love in the encircling embrace of a parent’s hug. And at the same time, I feel an excitement to move forward, to explore, entrain, express, to create, beautify, remedy and change. I am at once awakened, energized, compelled by waves of urgency and import… and also stroked and feted, fed palpable reminders of my value, gifts and blessings, affirming my wholeness and contributing to my sense of satisfaction. As always, this is a place that both stirs and soothes, simultaneously causing us to not only gladden and heal, but also look at any unfulfulled dreams and face our suppressed fears.

It is that double-sided gift that our Retreat guests come here for, as much or more than our events, counsel and Anima teachings. And we continue to offer various forms of Wilderness Retreats here for just that reason, providing an opportunity for connecting to true self, the natural world, spirit and purpose for folks who might never come as students, seekers or questers. We welcome people to book either the Gifting or Gaia lodges, or to tent camp next to the singing Sweet Medicine River, with a hot dinner feast delivered by Loba, naturally on a sliding-scale donation basis. Counsel is offered but entirely optional, and there is no absolute requirement other than bringing open minds and sensitive, grateful hearts, coming to receive what this land of its own accord so willingly offers.

I recently shuttled a Retreat guest’s bags to her vehicle, parked a little under 2 miles from the Center. As I came abreast of her, I slowed to look in her eyes and feel who she was and what she might have received herself while here. In the brief seconds we had, I sensed that there were unanswered questions and remaining struggles and goals we might yet help with. But just as surely, I could see that a Retreat here – with her self, with her reawakening vision and realigning mission, and with this telling land – was full in and of itself. I resisted saying hardly anything, and her words to me confirmed. “I’ve gotten everything I came for,” she said as tears welled up in her eyes, “…and more.” One of the things I wanted to say but didn’t, was that it is exactly that depth of intending, noticing, feeling, embodying, caring and apparently utilizing that makes a Retreat guests time here a wonderful gift to us and this place as well.

As this woman so clearly understood, going to a wild and beautiful area on a nature “Retreat” has nothing to do with disengagement or escape, but rather is an opportunity to be restored to balance and inspired to act.

One can have a moving and healing Retreat experience other places than Anima Sanctuary or the Southwest that so many call enchanted. It may take an hour or two to get there, or it could require a day long plane ride. A car rental to explore the Olympic Peninsula with, a burro ride into the Sierras, a boat trip to a remote island, a rugged jeep ride, or a walk in that requires wading the same shallow river seven times. Inevitably it will be somewhere selected for its dramatic grip on the imagination and the senses, its powerful natural setting or longtime association with ceremony and magic. Crashing ocean waves. A secluded forest grove. The stunning view from a mountain top stupa. The embrace of a clearly magical river canyon. The cherished holy places of exotic traditions, or the colorful mesas where generation after generation of Mogollon Indians held their ceremonies and prayed. Upon arrival a gong might ring, and a set of bamboo gates swing open. Or perhaps it is only the touch of the river water on one’s bared feet, and the call of the eagle or raven that announce one has left behind the expected, the known, the busy and rote, and entered into enchanted place and time.

For thousands of years our kind has made conscious and deliberate sojourns, and for far more than rest, no matter how restful such experiences can be. The Buddhist goes on retreat to deepen his or her practice, in a special place conducive to such aims. The Franciscan Friar retreats to a wilderness abbey, to get further away from the distractions of the parish and power struggles of the church, and closer to the experience and reality of god. The shaman leaves the comforts of the village in order to contact the truths and forces that can help him in his work when he gets back. The tribal Medicine Woman, or the modern herbalist and healer, will take time out in the forest or desert where she can be herself healed, fed and affirmed… and in this way, be better able to heal and give to others. And likewise, businesswomen, community activists and urban merchants often realize that they can accomplish more of their goals in the long run, if they first take some time out of their busy schedules to give to themselves. More an more healers are defining health as wholeness and vitality, both of which are gifts we can give ourself through focused and nurturing Retreat.

Solitude is both a blessing and a challenge no matter where we experience it, and no where more than in a place of intensely realized power. It no longer surprises us to hear that most folks, even nature lovers and backpackers, have never spent more than a few waking hours by themselves, let alone far away from other people. Instructors from Outward Bound type programs tell us they are trained never to be out of shouting distance from their companions, and other people have described Vision Quest programs that involved groups sitting within sight of each other or constantly monitored by protective staff members. And yet, learning to be content in and even nurtured by solitude is a crucial part of any person’s healing and growth. It is only apart from the criticisms and pats on the back from others that we can sense who we are apart from the need to fit in or desire to please. We may claim the only reason we don’t like to be alone is that we enjoy being around people, but inevitably there is an element of not wanting to spend time with, face or have to fully learn to love and cohabit with all elements of our whole beings. It’s gift, then, is not only the added opportunities for increased focus and contemplation, the informative sights and sounds of a world without human chatter and distraction… but also the gift of finding or re-embracing our true selves, needs and callings.

A Retreat affords that gift of solitude, to the degree that we can disengage from our anxiety, attention deficit habits and constant and search for stimulation or reassurance. But it is not meant to be entirely easy, and certainly not so comforting that it insulates or pads our experience. While there may be cabins with comfortable beds and homemade feasts, those on Retreat not only deal with the relative solitude, functional primitivity, lack of phone and TV, but still have to go to the trouble of adjusting their work schedules, arranging for child care and transportation, and temporarily suspending the million and one things that they would normally be doing. Such intention, effort and follow-through makes the retreat all the more powerful, and its effects longer lasting.

Whatever the cost in getting there, or in projects delayed, we pay a much higher price when we neglect to treat, tend and recharge ourselves. Hypertension. Heart attacks. Premature aging. Disrupted sleep. Feelings of unease and dissatisfaction that lead to ambivalence or despair. It can help to take a single hour of the day, every day, and make it a set time for focused, ritual engagement, for turning off the mental loops and consciously reinhabiting our bodies, emotions, and spirit. For sensing ourselves in connection to all that is, and drawing vision and energy from the earth beneath our floors. The key is how deliberate we make that hour. How dedicated to the purpose of our personal, enlivened wholeness. And how focused on our enjoining, and hopefully bettering in some small way, the whole world that we are a part of.

Going on retreat was never meant to be a substitute for personal manifestation and action, but rather, a place and a way in which to be nurtured, instructed, energized and empowered. We still need to act on our priorities, after a retreat helps us sort out what really matters most in our lives. And it remains up to us, to utilize the energy and manifest the visions that retreats provide.

The advantage is that on a wilderness Retreat the native inspirited world offers up its insights, allowing one to tap with some inner root the accumulative planetary wisdom of 4.5 billion years of evolving consciousness and life. And it is also in retreat, that even those with the busiest minds can quiet the chatter long enough to hear their own inner pleadings and promptings, warnings and assurance, contented purring and sagely advice. We Retreat into nature not to distance ourselves from anything, so much is to edge ever closer to our own inner natures… our healing and hopes, our dreams and purpose.

-Jesse Wolf Hardin

To register for a Healing or Student’s, Writer’s or Artist’s, Solo or Couples Retreat at the Anima Sanctuary, click on and download the Retreat Registration Form: retreats-registration-form.doc

Please copy and share this article. Thank you .

(Canyon photos (c) 2008 J. Wolf Hardin)

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